The Addiction of Stress
Life in constant motion
Have you ever noticed that even when things finally slow down — you can’t? Maybe your body stays braced, your mind starts scanning for what’s next, or rest feels strangely uncomfortable.
We often think of stress as something we don’t want — yet many of us live as though we’re tethered to it. Sometimes, it’s not because we like the chaos, but because our nervous system has learned to mistake it for safety.
● Note:
This week’s Mindful Monday was inspired by my book club’s latest read — Are You Mad at Me? by Meg Josephson (🔗). Near the end, Josephson explores a theme often discussed in trauma research: our potential addiction to stress.
Have thoughts or questions about this idea? I’d love to hear them! Reply to this email once you’ve finished reading to continue the conversation.
Also, we just celebrated our book club-versary this past Friday — marking one year of reading together! 🏆 I’m excited to continue to share reads here (🔗) with you all as we explore new titles.
Ok, back to today’s post!
The Science Behind the Cycle
In trauma research, this pattern is often described as familiarity masquerading as safety. According to polyvagal theory, our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger. If we grew up in high-stress environments, the body can begin to associate activation with normalcy.
Over time, calm may feel foreign or even unsafe. The body’s stress response becomes its baseline, and quiet moments trigger restlessness or unease.
This is the hidden architecture of what many call being addicted to stress:
Developmentally, it can stem from a history of unpredictable caregiving or chronic vigilance.
Physiologically, the brain adapts by keeping stress hormones circulating — rewarding busyness, urgency, or emotional chaos with a subtle hit of familiarity.
Psychologically, we may equate “being productive” or “staying busy” with worth, even as it drains our capacity for joy.
Without awareness, we keep reenacting the same nervous system loops, chasing stimulation, calling it purpose, and wondering why peace feels unreachable.
Off The Page: Actioning The Insights
Reclaiming Presence
We always start small
You don’t have to “fix” your stress response overnight, in fact, you can’t and that’s good news. The brain is remarkably adaptive. Through neuroplasticity, it’s capable of change at any age — rewiring itself in response to consistent, intentional experiences.
This means that no matter where you are in life, it’s never too late to teach your body and mind what genuine safety feels like. The key is not intensity, but consistency — small, repeatable practices that remind your nervous system that calm can coexist with capability.
Try exploring these practices gently this week:
1. Notice the Pull Toward Activation
When things feel calm, pause and ask:
“What sensations or thoughts arise when nothing is demanding my attention?”
Simply observe without judgment. Naming the discomfort is the first step toward regulation.
2. Anchor the Body Before the Mind
When you sense the urge to overwork, check your breath and posture.
Drop your shoulders. Exhale slowly. Let the ground hold you. Safety begins in the body before it becomes a belief.
3. Rewrite the Inner Narrative
When you catch your mind saying “I can’t slow down,” try adding one word: “I can’t slow down yet.”
That small addition invites neuroplastic change — transforming a fixed belief into an evolving one.
Thank You
Thank you for joining me this week! I’m excited to keep sharing insights from my work, research, and personal journey with you.
Did something resonate with you? Curious about applying these strategies in your life? Or know someone who might benefit?
Use the link below to schedule a consultation or forward this newsletter to a friend!
● Featured —
Clearing the Debris: Mental Health in Real Estate with Charan Bashir
I recently joined Sumina Bhatti on her podcast, “The Rested and Rich Real Estate Agent” to discuss a theme that shows up in my work with therapy and coaching clients — the tension between how success is defined externally and how we define it for ourselves.
Here a snapshot of what we got into:
Freedom Reframed — What does financial freedom mean to you?
The Pressure to Perform — No matter the discipline, you will have a pressure to perform, what happens when you don’t buy into it?
Clearing the Debris — Navigating the emotional debris that quietly blocks your path
Redefining Success — What matters the most to you, actually?
The Space Between — Slowing down to recognize moments of rest and connection
This is a conversation about burnout, authenticity, and reclaiming success on your own terms! Use the link below to listen now and thank you for being a part of this community. My hope is that this conversation gives you a moment of reflection — and maybe the permission — to step off the performance treadmill and reconnect with what matters most to you.
Extras
Let your voice be heard
Click the button below to share anonymous feedback on Mindful Monday. This will support me in continually bringing aligned insights that you all can action in your day to day life to witness a shift.
● New Reads in the Library!
I frequently publish the titles that I read alongside my book club of fellow therapists, colleagues, and friends. Use the link below to explore our current read, “Are You Mad at Me?” by Meg Josephson and explore previous titles organized by category online at charanbashir.com!
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