What do algorithms teach us about life?
Sound familiar?
Have you ever noticed how one search or click online suddenly fills your feed with more of the same? Look up a pair of shoes, and within hours you’re seeing shoe ads on Instagram, YouTube, even your email sidebar. The internet “remembers” what you give your attention to — and then multiplies it.
Life works in much the same way. The thoughts, habits, and perspectives we engage with regularly create the conditions for similar experiences to surface again and again. This is why certain synchronicities — those uncanny moments when life seems to echo back what’s on your mind — feel so striking. Just like an algorithm, your attention trains your awareness on what to notice, and the more you notice, the more it repeats.
Why does this happen?
Think of your attention as your personal feed.
Neurology plays a role. The brain has what’s called a reticular activating system (RAS) — a filter that decides which information makes it into your conscious awareness. If you start focusing on gratitude, your RAS cues you to notice moments of abundance. If you dwell on frustrations, your RAS tunes into reasons to stay irritated.
Behavior reinforces the loop. Just as clicking on ads signals to the algorithm to show you more, giving repeated energy to certain thoughts signals to your mind and body to find more of the same. Over time, these habits wire into patterns of attention.
Emotion adds weight. Experiences tied to strong emotions are more “sticky,” making it even more likely you’ll find them repeating in your awareness.
This is why focusing only on the negative can make life feel heavy — you begin to notice only the reasons to feel weighed down. But when you practice directing attention toward what nourishes you, you start to see more of that show up too.
Deepening Perspective
Eastern traditions have long echoed this idea: that what you hold in your awareness shapes what life reflects back to you.
Buddhism teaches that “what we dwell upon, we become.” Mindfulness practice trains us to notice the contents of our thoughts, understanding that where attention goes, energy flows.
Hindu philosophy emphasizes samskara — the mental impressions and habits that shape how we perceive reality. Repeated patterns of thought condition the mind much like algorithms condition a feed.
Taoist thought reminds us of alignment with the Tao — the natural flow of life. When our attention harmonizes with what is life-giving, synchronicities arise not as accidents, but as signals we are attuned to our path.
From this perspective, synchronicity isn’t just coincidence; it’s a reflection of the subtle dialogue between mind, habit, and the world around us. By tending to the quality of our attention, we create conditions for life to mirror back what is most meaningful.
Important Note: These philosophies resonate with me, but might not for you. When considering the impact of your attention, habits, and mental focus — consider philosophies and concepts that make this message relatable to your own unique life.
Off The Page: Actioning The Insights
Acknowledging what experience you are creating
Here’s a pivot
Your habits are like search terms, and your mindset is like an algorithm — both online and in life, what you focus on multiplies. This week, practice pausing before you “click” on familiar habits of thought. Try curating your inner feed with as much care as your digital one, and notice what synchronicities begin to arise when you shift what you choose to engage with.
This week, use the social media algorithm as a reminder: what you “click on” with your attention is what you’ll see more of in life. Here are some ways to experiment:
1. Notice what you’re “clicking on.”
When a heavy thought arises, pause before spiraling. Ask yourself: Do I want more of this in my feed of awareness?
2. Curate intentional input.
Just like muting ads or unfollowing accounts, surround yourself with conversations, environments, and practices that reflect the life you want to live.
3. Redirect your attention.
If you don’t like what’s showing up in your “life feed,” shift your focus. Name three things you’re grateful for, or take one small intentional step toward a goal that matters to you.
Thank You
Thank you for joining me this week! I’m excited to keep sharing insights from my work, research, and personal journey with you.
Did something resonate with you? Curious about applying these strategies in your life? Or know someone who might benefit?
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Clearing the Debris: Mental Health in Real Estate with Charan Bashir
I recently joined Sumina Bhatti on her podcast, “The Rested and Rich Real Estate Agent” to discuss a theme that shows up in my work with therapy and coaching clients — the tension between how success is defined externally and how we define it for ourselves.
Here a snapshot of what we got into:
Freedom Reframed — What does financial freedom mean to you?
The Pressure to Perform — No matter the discipline, you will have a pressure to perform, what happens when you don’t buy into it?
Clearing the Debris — Navigating the emotional debris that quietly blocks your path
Redefining Success — What matters the most to you, actually?
The Space Between — Slowing down to recognize moments of rest and connection
This is a conversation about burnout, authenticity, and reclaiming success on your own terms! Use the link below to listen now and thank you for being a part of this community. My hope is that this conversation gives you a moment of reflection — and maybe the permission — to step off the performance treadmill and reconnect with what matters most to you.
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● New Reads in the Library!
I frequently publish the titles that I read alongside my book club of fellow therapists, colleagues, and friends. Use the link below to explore our current read, “Are You Mad at Me?” by Meg Josephson and explore previous titles organized by category online at charanbashir.com!
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