The Practice of Self Compassion
A gentle pivot
We often offer patience and compassion to others, yet struggle at times to extend that same care to ourselves. Instead, we might even meet our pain with pressure or self-criticism.
(Sound like you? In moments, me too! 🙋🏽♂️)
But a pivot to self-compassion isn’t indulgent—it’s a brave act of turning toward our own suffering with the same kindness we so freely give to others. It reminds us that we’re just as worthy of care.
This perspective is often misunderstood as passive or overly gentle. In reality, approaching our difficult emotions with self-compassion allows us to sit with our experience rather than judge it—creating space for understanding rather than resistance or avoidance.
What does self compassion mean?
Self-compassion is the practice of turning inward with kindness, especially during moments of pain, failure, or emotional struggle — not to feel better, but because we feel bad.
At its core, self-compassion says: “I am human, and that’s okay.” It’s not about letting ourselves off the hook—it’s about holding ourselves with care when things are hard.
Often, we rush to feel better, treating pain like a problem to fix. But self-compassion isn’t about escaping discomfort—it’s about meeting it with care and building the strength to stay present. It’s like tending to a wound gently, rather than covering it up and hoping it disappears. When we act because we’re hurting—not just to stop the hurt—we create space for real healing. This shift allows us to understand our pain, not avoid it, and gives us the resilience to hold what’s hard with greater honesty and grace.
Navigating the Inevitable Resistance
Excerpt from The Self Compassion Workbook (Click to view full text):
Pain x Resistance = Suffering
When we begin to practice self-compassion, it's common to experience resistance—an internal pushback that makes the act of offering ourselves kindness feel uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or even wrong. Resistance might sound like:
“This is self-indulgent.”
“I don’t deserve compassion.”
“Being hard on myself is what keeps me going.”
According to Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, this resistance is often rooted in long-standing beliefs that self-criticism is necessary for success, safety, or self-improvement. But these beliefs can limit our ability to heal and grow.
When we notice resistance during self-compassion practice, we can gently respond by:
Naming the resistance without judgment:
“I’m noticing it’s hard to be kind to myself right now.”Getting curious instead of critical:
Ask yourself, “What belief might be underneath this discomfort?”Remembering that resistance is part of the process: Meeting resistance is not a failure—it’s a sign you’re stepping outside of old survival strategies and beginning to cultivate new habits.
Letting the attempt be enough:
Even when it doesn’t feel natural or “work,” the intention to be kind to yourself is still a powerful act.
With time and patience, even our resistance can become a gateway to deeper healing—revealing the very parts of us most in need of care.
Off The Page: Actioning The Insights
Practices to shift your inner dialogue
Your week ahead
Take a look below at the strategies that you can bring into this coming week to support you in shifting how you embrace self compassion.
Practice Noticing Without Judgment
When a difficult emotion or thought arises, try simply saying: “This is hard.”
Acknowledge the truth of the moment without trying to fix or change it.
Replace Harsh Self-Talk with Gentle Inquiry
Instead of “What’s wrong with me?” ask, “What do I need right now?”
This small shift can open space for care rather than criticism.
Offer a Grounding Gesture
Place a hand on your heart or rest your palm on your belly. Take a few slow breaths and silently say, “May I be kind to myself in this moment.”
A prompt for reflection
Where in my life am I meeting myself with pressure or judgment—and what would it feel like to meet that part with compassion instead?
Feel free to share your experiences, challenges, and wins with me in a reply to this email!
Important Note
These practices are like watering a plant—one dose won’t lead to lasting growth. Real transformation comes from steady, repeated care. If you’re hoping to shift your internal dialogue in meaningful ways, consistent practice is what creates the space for lasting change.
If you’re ready to shift your self-talk, click here to schedule a free consultation and explore how to tailor these practices to your needs.
Thank You
Thank you for joining me this week! I’m excited to keep sharing insights from my work, research, and personal journey with you.
Did something resonate with you? Curious about applying these strategies in your life? Or know someone who might benefit?
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