Big T vs. Little T
So, what actually is trauma?
As a trauma informed therapist, I am often sharing with others that I, “Focus on trauma" — but that statement often has little meaning if we don’t necessarily know what trauma is and don’t really understand how to move beyond its grasp.
Trauma includes not just what happened to us, but also what didn’t—shaping how we see ourselves, others, and the world throughout life.
Keep reading to discover:
How to build capacity, in the face of, and in the aftermath of adversity
What post traumatic growth means
How trauma impacts the mind
Acts of Omission vs. Acts of Commission
In the world of trauma work, you might have heard about "Big T" and "little t" trauma. These terms help describe different experiences—Big T typically refers to overt, life-threatening events (such as assault, accidents, or natural disasters), while little t points to less obvious but still deeply distressing experiences (like chronic invalidation, emotional neglect, or ongoing microaggressions).
Importantly, these distinctions are not intended to create a hierarchy of suffering. Rather, they offer a framework to understand how trauma can take many forms—some loud and undeniable, others quiet and insidious.
When we consider acts of omission vs. commission, we add further nuance.
Acts of commission involve things that did happen—the active infliction of harm, abuse, or violence.
Acts of omission involve what did not happen—the absence of emotional support, unmet developmental needs, or a persistent lack of safety and attunement.
In my work, I hold space for the full spectrum of these experiences—whether they fit neatly into Big T or little t categories or exist somewhere in between. The goal is never to compare pain, but to honor each person’s unique story with compassion, curiosity, and a trauma-informed lens that validates the complexities of what it means to heal.
Different Pain Inflicted — Similar Impact Felt
Whether trauma stems from acts of commission or acts of omission, the impacts on the nervous system can be equally profound.
Both types of trauma activate:
💪🏼 Survival responses
⚠️ Disrupt our sense of safety
🌀 Can leave the nervous system in chronic states of hyperarousal (fight/flight), hypoarousal (freeze/shutdown), or a painful cycling between the two.
Over time, this dysregulation can contribute to:
😟 Anxiety and Depression
🫣 Difficulties in emotional regulation
🥴 Relational challenges
The nervous system does not distinguish trauma based on whether harm was active or passive; it responds to perceived threat, unmet needs, and ruptures in attachment. What matters most in healing is not how the trauma occurred, but how we gently support the nervous system to rediscover safety, regulation, and connection.
Off The Page: Actioning The Insights
Building capacity in your daily life
What is post traumatic growth?
Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) describes the positive psychological changes that can follow trauma, such as deeper self-awareness, stronger relationships, new priorities, and a renewed sense of purpose, even as healing occurs alongside pain and loss.
Here are a list of strategies you can use to begin navigating closer to PTG.
⚠️ Note: The strategies below are best used alongside care guided by you and a trained professional. They are not quick fixes or a complete solution for trauma recovery. If you or someone you know is struggling, click here to schedule a consultation for individualized support and to learn more about options accessible to you.
Process and honor your experience
Create regular, safe spaces to process emotions—through therapy, journaling, somatic practices, or creative outlets. Honoring feelings in manageable ways helps the nervous system release stored tension and move out of survival mode.
Broach meaning and work towards the realignment of values
Reflect on how your experiences have shifted your values. Ask yourself what matters most now and what feels worth your energy. Journaling, trying new activities, or setting small goals can help create direction and support healing amid uncertainty.
Cultivate connection and support
Healing isn’t done alone. Connect with people who make you feel safe and understood—friends, family, support groups, or professionals. Start small if trust is hard, and consider communities with shared experiences. Healthy relationships help soothe your nervous system and remind you you’re not alone.
Thank You
Thank you for joining me this week! I’m excited to keep sharing insights from my work, research, and personal journey with you.
Did something resonate with you? Curious about applying these strategies in your life? Or know someone who might benefit?
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