Allowing Yourself to Unravel
You are only human
There are times when it feels like parts of you are quietly coming undone. Not in a dramatic or catastrophic way, but in the subtle moments when your composure slips and emotions feel layered, complicated, or heavier than expected.
We often fear these experiences. We worry that feeling too much means something is wrong — that we’re losing control, regressing, or falling apart.
But unraveling can be a metaphor for something else: your inner world making room for clarity.
These moments when you don’t feel as tightly held together, are not signs of failure. They’re signs that the mind and body are doing what they naturally do when they’re ready for insight, release, and deeper awareness. They reflect a system that trusts you enough to reveal what’s been tucked away.
Unraveling is uncomfortable, yes. But it is also profoundly normal, and often the first step toward growth.
“It’ll shake you up, then shake it off.”
I’m home in Chicago for the holiday, and when I shared today’s Mindful Monday topic (inspired by a recent conversation with my friend Adria), my Dad offered a quote that captured it perfectly. He’s a steady source of wisdom in my life, and I’m excited to share a bit of his insight with you all!
Insight, Capacity & Neuroplasticity
Unraveling happens when the emotional load you’ve been carrying becomes too dense to keep neatly organized. From a trauma-informed, mind–body perspective, this process is not a malfunction. It is your body’s way of recalibrating and widening its capacity. When you allow yourself to feel the complexity of your emotions, without immediately suppressing or solving them, you activate mechanisms in the brain and nervous system that support long-term resilience.
At the level of the nervous system, this kind of emotional softening expands your window of tolerance. You teach your body that it is safe enough to feel complexity without shutting down or overreacting. Even brief, intentional contact with discomfort sends powerful signals that:
emotions are survivable
vulnerability is not inherently dangerous
your body can stay present even when feelings intensify
This is the foundation of increased emotional capacity.
From a neuroplasticity perspective, these moments of unraveling are opportunities for rewiring. Each time you stay with a challenging emotion, your brain forms new pathways that support regulation, reflective thinking, and adaptive coping. The more often you practice being with your inner experience, especially the uncomfortable parts, the more your brain learns that:
discomfort is tolerable, not catastrophic
emotional waves can be observed rather than avoided
presence leads to insight, not overwhelm
Avoidance teaches the nervous system that emotions are threats, keeping you on high alert, while meeting them with curiosity shifts your system into a learning state where new patterns can form. As you unravel, buried needs, beliefs, and tensions surface, revealing what has been driving your reactions. In this way, unraveling isn’t falling apart but a gentle pulling back of layers that makes room for clarity, healing, and deeper self-understanding.
Off The Page: Actioning The Insights
Building capacity this week
One small step at a time
As you move through the week, the goal isn’t to control or perfect your emotional experience, but to support your system in staying present with it. These practices are designed to help you build capacity gently — meeting discomfort with steadiness, expanding your window of tolerance, and giving your nervous system the consistency it needs to grow. Below are a few ways to start.
Softening Ritual
Choose a simple act that signals to your system: you are safe enough to feel. Light a candle, take three slow breaths, or sit quietly in your favorite place. Your nervous system responds to repetition and predictability. Practice when discomfort arises to be with it as opposed to avoiding it.
Developing Supportive Rituals
Identify a few grounding resources in the midst of challenge: calming music, stepping outside, a grounding object, someone who listens without fixing.
These strategies will allow you to expand your capacity to feel without shutting down
Sensation Over Story
When you feel overwhelmed, shift from thoughts to a focus on sensations: tight chest, warm cheeks, pressure behind the eyes. Staying with the body interrupts spiraling and supports regulation. Breathe through the recognition for a moment or two and observe what pivots.
Thank You
Thank you for joining me this week! I’m excited to keep sharing insights from my work, research, and personal journey with you.
Did something resonate with you? Curious about applying these strategies in your life? Or know someone who might benefit?
Use the link below to schedule a consultation or forward this newsletter to a friend!
● I am asking for your support!
Adria Moses @ The School of Radical Healing
I’d like to pause this week to highlight someone very special to me — my friend Adria. She’s preparing for surgery as part of her ongoing healing from Crohn’s Disease and is seeking communal support along the way.
If you feel called, I invite you to learn more and consider supporting her journey below!
ADRIA — MOSES
“I’ve lived with Crohn’s Disease for most of my life. It’s invisible, unpredictable, and exhausting, and this January I’ll be having another major surgery. This time, I’m choosing to do it differently. I’m asking for help. I created a GoFundMe to support my healing — the time I’ll need to rest, the cost of care, and the essentials that make recovery possible.
I know I can’t do this alone. Every donation, every share, every word of encouragement makes a real difference.”
Extras
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● New Reads in the Library!
Click the link below to explore my latest read, “Four Thousand Weeks — Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman.
As you know by now, if you have been subscribed to this newsletter for a while, I love reading with friends! This read was an encouragement from my dear friend, fundraiser, consultant, and speaker Chrissey Nguyen Klockner!
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